In life we are conditioned to saying yes to (almost) everything. Can you help me out? Are you coming to the party tonight? Can you take my shift?

We think we can do everything. After work drinks, helping a friend move houses, taking on our colleagues task.. the list goes on. Us women, we wanna do it all – all the time. Be superwoman, taking on 100 things at a time, please people around us. And there’s no shame in that. I do it all the time. But then I find myself not doing things properly, doing stuff that I actually don’t want to do in my free time or just literally my body crashing down. And that’s when I ask myself: Is it all worth it?

If I narrow it down, I always come to the same conclusion, as cliché as it sounds: I only live once. And for this very limited amount of time, I wanna do what feels good to me. What makes me genuinely happy. What helps me reach my goals. What helps my wellbeing.

If you’re that girl, that says yes at work all the time, you most likely won’t be the girl, that will reach all of her goals.

This sounds harsh, but sometimes before you say yes (I do it all the time and then I’m like, gurl why) think: Will this affect my own priorities in a negative way? Will it slow down the things I need to do? Evaluate and then decide. What I’m saying is that I’m all for helping out, but sometimes you just gotta do you. Know how to separate one form the other. There’s no shame in putting yourself first.

What’s even harder than saying no at work, is saying no in our private life. To our friends, our family. We always feel obligated to go to dinners, parties, help out and be there. Which is good. But sometimes we just want to chill and watch Netflix on the couch or spend time with our partner. And that’s okay. We don’t need a reason to say no, we don’t need to justify ourselves for it – if anyone is mad at you for simply saying no, sorry hun, but then they’re wrong. And again I’m not saying that we should all neglect our friends and family but I’m saying that we should do what feeds our soul in that moment. And there's no shame in wanting to just have some me time - we all need this and that's totally fine. And it's a good reason to say no.

If a yes is not a HELL YES then it’s a no.

That’s something it try to live by. And trust me, if you try it, too, you will still do stuff for other people all the time. But slowly and surely, you will feel more at ease with your decisions and realize that saying no, isn’t so bad. It acutally feels pretty damn good, and you will free pretty damn free. So don’t let them stop you from doing you.

Self love isnt’ selfish, love.


by Jana