THE ONE THING THAT HELPED ME TURN MY INSECURITIES INTO STRENGHTS

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Let me be honest with you, my list of (past) insecurities is not short. I always found my nose way too big (I can’t even tell you how often I contemplated to get a nose job), my body hair too much (it’s blonde but it’s literally EVERYWHERE), my stomach never flat enough, my boobs too small, my arms just a tad too chubby and I used to hate the cellulite on my legs (now I appreciate it). And that’s just the body. I used to be extremely insecure when I had to talk in front of big groups or on video, I also used to think I’m too boring to be remembered in a new group of people and that’s why I never talked a lot. Trust me, the list goes on.

When it comes to insecurities, you have first of all realize that most of them do not come from within yourself.

We are not born insecure, society teaches us that certain things are wrong or not good enough and so do the people that raise us.

These insecurities build up through the expectations of others, through things that are said to you when you’re just a vulnerable teenager and through false beauty standards and toxic diet culture. Overcoming them is a challenge we face as adults and for some it goes quicker, for some it takes a while and some things might never fully go away.

The trouble is, that our insecurities in fact keep us from living life to the fullest. Example: Not going swimming because you don’t want to be seen in a bikini. Not raising your hand in a panel talk because you’re afraid what you say might be wrong. Not trusting a new potential partner because you don’t think you’re worthy for all the love they have to give. Just imagine, missing out on all these beautiful things, because of our stupid insecurities. And what does it help? Well, nothing. Trust me, most things you don’t like about yourself are things others wouldn’t even notice.

In order to overcome your insecurities, you have to acknowledge them. Use them to your advantage. Know that you are worthy and know that all these little quirks make you unique and special. These little things are the ones that others love about you, that can potentially make them fall in love with you. Creating These Girls helped me a lot with my own personal struggles. The more I read, the more knowledge I gain, the more trust I have in myself, the more confident I get. Of course, this growth is not linear. I have countless set backs, let it be stressing over a bad picture or not approaching someone at a party because I’m scared they won’t wanna talk to me. The point is to keep going.

I can definitely say, that there was one clear turning point for me, and this is what I want you to take away from this article: What helped me more than anything, was being open about my so-called insecurities and learning to love them. And that is the most powerful process. Let me give you a concrete example: When we did our first piece on body confidence, we took pics of our cellulite. I would have never thought before that I would ever post something like this out to the world, but damn – it felt so liberating. Why?

Because I don’t owe it to anyone to have dimple free legs (or anything else) and if anyone has a problem with it, they can quite frankly fuck off.

If you show your insecurities wide open to the world, nobody can use them against you, ever. 

That’s why I want to urge you to teach yourself to be more open. Post that pic, even if it shows something you hate about yourself. Talk to that person you admire but you’re scared to approach by admitting to that exactly this in the first sentence. If you point out, that you are a nervous wreck, they will appreciate that little quirk about you. Do you know what I mean? It goes like this with everything. The more open you are, the more whole you become. All these things are the things that make you perfect in your own special way. You have the power to do that, only you. And there’s nothing more powerful than living life by your own standards and not the ones society forces upon us.

 
 

by Jana