Give it a good cry
Many, many moons ago I turned the title of PR queen Kelly Cutrone’s book „When you have to cry, go outside“ into a kind of a my mantra for myself. At least at work. Apart from heartbreaking sad situations or happy tears, I do start crying when I get to my highest level ever of how angry I can get. When I feel mistreated, disrespected or overall highly misunderstood, then: waterworks. No matter if it’s a work or in a private situation.
And yes, studies show women are prone to cry more than men do. So what?
Some time ago I started thinking, so what, then I cry at work. We should never feel bad about it – not in front of a boss, not in front of family or friends. It’s something normal. Something cleansing. “It cleanses your soul”, my mom would always tell my brother and I. It gives the pain as well as the anger space to be. For a little while. No matter if it’s in front of a colleague or simply sitting at home on a Wednesday night feeling overwhelmed with, umm, life. Crying (by yourself) feels like the best therapy sometimes. There is nothing embarrassing about it. It’s honest af and pure. It’s human.
It’s a pretty good feeling of just letting it all go out of your system. For me it usually puts things into perspective after calming down or on the next day. After crying I feel somehow better. It simply helps me because I allow myself to do it instead of holding it in. For me it’s not weakness, for me it’s more giving all of my emotion the space to be. It’s an emotional tool that only helps you and your heart.
Don’t feel ashamed or weak. Suppressing something is never good. And tears are no exception.
At work of course, you shouldn’t cry to get the corner office, you shouldn’t cry to get out of something. Sheryl Sandberg who inspires us so much, writes about crying at work in her book Lean In, and has spoken in multiple interviews about that crying is essential, it shows how deeply you care and that you cannot avoid it. Obviously it’s not a go to recipe to get somewhere but it’s simply okay if it happens. More than okay. Go outside after you cried, and enjoy the sunshine.