CONFIDENCE: YOU, ME & OUR BODIES
Let's talk body confidence. Body image? Whatever you want to call it. To be honest, I don't even know where to start. And when. Being confident about your body is not an easy thing to do, especially when you're a woman. One day you get told you have to be skinny. Then you get told you should get yourself a really big bum. Cellulite? Eww, gross. How are we supposed to feel confident about our body in those surroundings?
I'm the first to admit that for me, the way my body looks, has always been and it will always be super important. I wouldn't say I'm vain, but I just want it to look a certain way. And I don't see anything wrong with that.
I had no idea about what body shaming was, the only ideal there was, was to be skinny.
I went from normal weight (162cm/53kg) down to a very underweight 42kg when I was 17, then back to around 58kg when I was in my early twenties, which was healthy but still people told me to lose weight (also my family, yup), because I didn't work out. And around that time, I was quite insecure, I didn't understand that I should basically call them out for telling me this. I had no idea about what body shaming was, the only ideal there was, was to be skinny.
Long story short, now I have around 60kg, I work out four to five times a week, I do weightlifting and I love it. I am happier with my body than I probably ever was. That doesn't mean I feel confident about it every day. Hell nah! I look at my naked self in the mirror every day. What about the roll underneath my belly button? Did my ass grow? What about those hip dips? And my cellulite? Should I get my boobs done after all? Shit, I need to put on some self tanner. I have so many things that I feel like I need to improve.
Sexual partners making mean remarks about our bodies that make us feel insecure - not realizing that the way they shame us is not our problem, but theirs.
It's not easy and we all know it. The thing is, that ALL women doubt themselves. And there's a million reasons why. Maybe other kids have been mean to us because we didn't look like all the other kids. Family members body shaming us, which is a quite common thing. Sexual partners making mean remarks about our bodies that make us feel insecure - not realizing that the way they shame us is not our problem, but theirs.
Another thing that plays into it is social media. Every single day I look at women (Emily Ratajkowskis breasts, Kim Ks bbl enhanced hips, just two examples), who's body measurements I can never reach with the way my body was built. And that's okay. It's normal to compare yourself, even if you know it doesn't help solve the issue. What we need to understand though, is to look at the parts we love most about us. And the other parts are what we need to learn to love - or change, if we want to. That's another thing. Let it be through sports or plastic surgery. It's fine and up to you – if you do it for yourself.
It sounds cliché, but since I work out regularly, I feel pretty damn good about myself. I don't care about my weight at all, if anything I want to gain weight - I want to be strong, have a body that comes as close to my ideal as it can - without caring what anyone thinks of it. Everybody has a different way of dealing, but do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Wear those jeans that make your ass look hot. Show some cleavage if you feel like it. Do it for you and for your body. Surround yourself with men (and women) who empower you. Do it for yourself and your body.