No one wants a small butt anymore, right? (not even the boys, haha) Remember when we didn’t train our arms, because we didn’t want to be “bulky”? When everyone wanted to be a size 0? #smh #lol #wtf Times are different (yes!!!). We learned to accept (or did we?) and celebrate that there are all kinds of different bodies around that are all beautiful  – and still we struggle with body positivity and confidence – at least I do.

I remember with 9 or 10 when going swimming that I felt not as skinny as my friends. On my first what felt real incident about my body weight was (many followed) when I was 13. Some boy approached me and two girlfriends. He came up asking us if we were the „fattie club“. Still I think from this day on my friends and me started trying to lose weight. We were left alone with this, embarrassed and from that point on believing there is something profoundly wrong with our bodies. The feeling never left for a really long time. Back then of course there was no Paloma Elsesser or Precious Lee.

When I returned from a longer stay in the US as a teen I came back much heavier than I had left and this weight stuck with me for a while. A relative pointed out to my brother “We gotta do something about your sister...” – putting him in an awkward position and making him believe that something is wrong with me. Still no Iskra or Natalia Lorenzo.

My teenage dream was always to fit into one of those damn tiny Miss Sixty Jeans.

At one point you gotta free yourself from all bad experiences and work towards listening to your body instead of bullies. If we hide behind them for forever, we miss out on life. My teenage dream was always to fit into one of those oh so cool Miss Sixty Jeans. Today I smile  when thinking about it. I have never worn them by the way. There are studies that say your level of confidence lies in your genes – at least partly. I believe a huge part of confidence comes from within. It comes and develops and increases from accepting and loving yourself. Role models, compliments, positive experiences all help a lot but as long as we don’t truly believe we are beautiful, and feel and live it, we will have a hard time being really confident all the way. Practicing self love and self compassion is the way.

If we hide behind bad experiences for forever, we miss out on life.

Only with 28ish I came to my senses and stopped caring what others think about my body - especially men. When you learned not to give a fuck anymore, suddenly those thick thighs feel somehow good in those jeans. The most important thing to remember is, that this bliss of confidence doesn’t come overnight for everyone. I learned to be patient with myself (28, hello?). The most important thing is that you thrive for a healthy body. Don’t hurt your mind or your body over wanting to look a certain way. If you really want something changed, go for it as long as you don’t do it to please someone else.

As Ashley Graham once said in her IG story: “Feeling sexy is a state of mind.” I love this. Body confidence to us means loving yourself like you are and being kind to your body. I am still working on it every day. For instance, I know my butt is far from perfect and has the resemblance of an orange. I still take it to the beach and I still put it in a bikini thong. It took me about 28 years to do this. For me this is pure victory. And for my bootie it’s pure awesomeness to get to experience sunlight.


by Teresa