STOP MAKING YOURSELF SMALL

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Hey, we‘ve been all been there probably. In situations where we made ourselves (subconsciously or not) small or even tiny.

We chose this topic because most of the things you do can either what you say, think/feel or yes, do (body language) The feeling of smallness can creep out of nowhere or you have been struggling for years with it. Its spectrum from “no one cares”, “no one notices” to “I will not do this or that, because I won’t succeed” and “Of course I don’t deserve this” is toxic. Because the smaller you feel, the smaller you make yourself. It is not about making yourself bigger than someone else, no it’s simply the fact that stopping making yourself small gains you the confidence that is buried in you and that you deserve and also the satisfying feeling that you push for yourself.

You should never make yourself small - even if you might even feel this way for a moment. Why? Because it is the simple self respect that you owe yourself. We have gathered some simple tips what you can think, do or say to stop making yourself smaller.

THINK

Why are you unique?
If you feel small, think of 5 things that make you truly unique. Can be your best qualities at work or why you are such a good friend. Maybe it’s a trait no one knows about you. Bottom line: brush dem shoulders - your own shoulders we mean. Why? Because you are unique.

Know your strengths
You are a true force at something we are damn sure. And you know it. Sometimes you have to toot your motherfucking own horn. And let everybody know. Even if you don’t feel like blurting them out, as long as you know them and see them as strength, it will make you feel big. 

Positive Affirmations
…yes, they do work! Imagine that?! If you are struggling with feeling small - whether at work or in your relationships with your partner, parents or friends, don’t put your energy towards them. Stay with yourself. Put your word on a post it, put it in your phone, write it in your notebook - whatever works for you. Repeat it over and over again, like a mantra that you soak up.

DO

It’s okay to accept a compliment
Like more than ok.Feeling bigger is not only in your head, it starts how you doing you and others of course. Get a compliment, simply accept it. Don’t justify why this dress does not look good on you. Or why the lipstick is not killer on you? Or why you didn’t nail this project 100% (umm, you did!) Simply accept the compliment. Move on with your day and feel good about it.

Ask for what you want
Just do it, all they can say is no. But what if they say yes? And this goes for every sector in your life. Making yourself small is thinking”Ah, they won’t listen to me” or “they won’t do it” or “this is impossible because…” Whether it be the raise you want, whether it be simply being put on a project you are passionate about or going to a workshop that will teach you new things to asking your partner to support you more in this or that - asking for the things you want is essential to you getting the things! It may not always be a yes, but at least you did all you could.

Take up space literally
Even body language contributes how we feel or make ourselves feel. It tricks us and others in thinking you are small. It starts with simply walking: Do you walk and look at the floor? Or do you walk straight with a your head up? See? In meetings? Do you choose to sit all the way in the back? In Meetings or in group projects: Do you cross your legs and arms in front of your body or do you lean forward and have an open vibe? All these little things contribute on how we feel. Paying attention to them, only let’s us grow.


SAY

Kill the Sorrys
We are grown up. We know when to apologize and be truly sorry. If you add the word „sorry“ in every second sentence or say it even though it’s not your fault, it’s getting tough and tougher to feel bigger. Replace your Sorrys with Thank yous. Instead of sorry I am late say thanks you for waiting for me. It lifts you up, you will feel bigger automatically. Trust us. Just try it for a week! 

Make yourself heard
Try this: instead of swallowing your opinion or feedback for the sake of not fighting or discussing, go for it and make your voice heard. Grow your voice - even if speaking up is sometimes hard in a group, because there will always be a louder one or someone who will interrupt you. Fight through it. Everyday! 

To feel or act towards yourself in a self respecting way is a must. Why? You owe it to yourself and if you speak to you in a bad, small, worrying way - you eventually believe it, feel it and act this way: small.

 

by Teresa