WHY NO APPROVAL IS THE BEST APPROVAL
You think this is another text about oh, you shouldn’t give a fuck what other people think. Well, no. It was our first thought as well.
Approval is more about making everyone happy and being the responsible one, the considerate one. As opposed to just listening to yourself and being happy with it.
Why is it so hard often? I don’t know. I am the worst at this because I try to take everything and everyone into account, trying to please everyone and then when I proceed, I double check if everyone is happy or at least okay with what I have just decided. Wrong! Or at least, it’s not possible like this. Just in theory maybe.
Firstly, if you constantly seek approval - consciously or unconscious, it means that you are not certain of your thought, your decision or your next move. Try to figure out why it is like that.
Secondly, try to listen to yourself and stay with yourself. What makes you happy? What is there right move for you? You can’t please everyone or can’t think of ever one. So think of yourself. Don’t overthink what other’s might expect from you or not. People can change and evolve, they should - so even if your are feeling or doing something that’s (apparently) so not you, people will get over it.
Learn to trust yourself. And learn to trust your opinion and your thoughts. And go with it. Figure out why you don’t trust yourself - and more importantly in what topics or situations.
Know the difference between getting advice and searching for approval when telling trusted people about your issue or what your have been thinking about for hours. If its advice, good for you. If you then make the decision on your own. If it’s actually looking for approval, it’s a waste of time, it kills freedom.
Also, question shit. Don’t just do things people weigh in on. Don’t just join in regardless and accept if people ask you to do something. If you don’t wanna do it, don’t do it. If you change your mind, change it.
Stop comparing, stop trying to live up to expectations of others. Find your inner voice, be in-sync with it. Tune it up because you should only listen to it. Find your peaceful centre and hold on to it. If people disagree, disapprove, reject something or try to talk you into things, don’t back down.
Don’t make your mood dependent on what other’s have said to you. Criticism is part of life and you will always face it.
Stay with your opinion, stand with your words - even if there are louder people in the room. It’s important, that you listen to yourself and do what’s right for you in this moment and making the experience - positive or negative.
And sometimes if it turns out to be the wrong decision and people tell you “I told you so” - it’s also fine. Let them have their 2 seconds of this feeling. You have the experience.