Bye, bye Pill: Why I stopped taking it

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When I told my friends I am off the pill, they either gasped, rolled their eyes, smiled and thought to themselves I am crazy or ridiculous but I couldn’t bear it anymore.

I was a different person when I had my period. I knew, it didn’t work for me anymore.

I had been taking the pill since I was 23 I think (I am off for 9 months now), so relatively late anyway. It never did me any good I think but about 3 years ago I started suffering not only from extreme break outs (then my self esteem suffered), but also from anxiety and little panic attacks, from severe mood swings and almost depressive phases where I just wanted to cry, where I couldn’t even bring myself to the gym or to go out. After my period was over it magically changed again. I felt helpless and got told “Oh it’s in your head” or you are “overthinking it”.

I went to my gynaecologist  and told her about my extreme mood swings that left me crying in bed and hating myself. She didn’t even blink. All she did was nod and tell me it’s completely normal and we can switch and do a trial and error thing as long as we find something for me where I don’t have side effects. Great!

After great support of my partner to “not put this shit in my body anymore” I stopped taking it in January 2018. I was so grateful for him understanding it, because often the whole contraception seems to be a girl’s job and yes, the pill is so convenient - especially for guys. I believe it should be an equal job or an equal understanding of methods, side effects, talking about it and how it works for the one taking it. There should be an honest interest of your partner, not them assuming, ah she is fine, she is on the pill.

My depressive days where I just didn’t want to go on anymore were gone. The toxic feelings I had, not feeling I own my body but my body is ruled by the pill - also gone. I felt lighter immediately. I felt like me again. 

I was shocked that up to this point I had learned so little (and shown so little interest) about my body as a woman and knew barely anything, because taking the pill was so convenient l was ignorant about informing myself in other choices and I feel bad about it now.

I wanted something natural. I started the temperature thing which caused my friends to smirk but I just didn’t want to put any toxins in my body anymore. Now I am on NFP (natural family planning and natural cycle, if you do it correctly, it has the same pearl index as the pill) where you measure your temperature and keep track of your mucous. I heard all kinds of things: it’s something that people only do when they want to start family,  you will be pregnant soon, etc. I just sat there tired of defending not arguing my choice because neither did I want to start a family nor did I use witch craft to not get pregnant. I just wanted a healthier, natural choice, less chemicals in my body that turned me into a mess. 

It’s going well. Meaning I am not pregnant yet. 

Whatever you do or chose to not get pregnant, it’s your choice. If the pill works perfectly for you or if you prefer condoms - chose the method that you and your partner feel comfortable with - and girls, stay woke - even about your reproductive system, oh wait, especially about that. Do what you feel like, not your partner. Stay woke about (natural) alternatives.

 
 

by Teresa