ON "ASKING FOR IT"

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This article should probably be in a men’s magazine, as they still seem to not get a grip on this topic. But since it’s still a discussion (WOW) and it lies near and dear to my heart, I feel like it’s important to talk about it here.

Let’s be honest - we live in a culture were sexual harassment is still accepted. Let it be verbal or physical.

It starts at a very early age. I think the first time I got catcalled was when I was around 12, 13 – or even earlier. By grown men. And this happens to every girl around the world. But that’s another story.

What really, really pisses me off is people saying us women are asking for it. With the way we dress. For what are we asking exactly? For men to sexually assault us? For men to treat us like we don’t have a say? The amount of times I’ve heard something like “oh come on, she was asking for it in that dress”. NO. She was never asking for it. A woman should be able to walk down the streets, butt naked, without having to fear catcalling, sexual assault, rape. We should be able to dress feminine at work, without having to fear that someone is gonna hit on us or not take us serious.

It’s a topic I fight about with male friends or colleagues all the time, because they just don’t seem to get the point. And it’s really not that complex, it’s simple. We do not always dress for you, dear men. We dress how we feel at the moment, in things that make us feel good and confident. However that looks is entirely up to us and shouldn’t be judged. Society tells us that a certain type of clothing is not appropriate. For whom? Why?

Doesn’t they way you treat me because of my clothing say more about you, than the way I dress does about me?

Another thing is is women shaming women for the way they dress. “She looks like a slut. That dress is a bit revealing. Wow that’s not classy at all.” We need to stop this. Every girl can dress and should dress however she wants to be. That’s it.

One thing that goes hand in hand is the culture of “ don’t take it so serious” or “come on, it’s just fun.” NO. I’ve heard that so many times in my life. What is so hard to understand? There is no fun in sexual assault. It is not a joke. A simple NO should be enough. Woman says no, end of story. They call it dressing slutty, provocative, vulgar. It’s not. Us women are allowed to wear whatever we want. It does not mean, a man is entitled to do anything he wants.

THE WAY WE DRESS IS NOT CONSENT. For anything.

Let us wear whatever we want. Let us feel sexy. Let us feel like we’re the baddest. Don’t judge us for it ever. Thanks.

 
 

by Jana