HOW TO REALLY ENJOY BEING SINGLE

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I have been single multiple times in my life, for shorter and for longer periods. And let me tell you: These were some of the happiest years for me. Now that I’m slowly approaching 30, I can feel a lot of anxiety around me: “When will I find the one? Where are they? I feel like I will never find them!” And yes, I understand. If all your people in a seemingly perfect relationship, it’s hard! Why? All your friends are hanging out with their partners, you watch them grow together and build lives. BUT, here’s the big but: There are honestly countless reasons why being single is amazing. Here are my most important ones. Spoiler alert, you probably take them for granted, but trust me: they are worth more than you know now.

You have absolute freedom. Yes, you can also have freedom in a relationship, but it will never be the same as when you are single. And there are so many layers to it. You can travel wherever and whenever you want. No matter if you want to go backpacking or chill at a beach resort for two weeks, there is no one you have to take along, coordinate calendars or discuss your plans with. And it’s not just travelling. You can decide where you want to live, if you want to move to another country or stay exactly where you are.

You are allowed to be absolutely selfish. You don’t have to compromise. And relationships always involve compromises, let’s not kid ourselves here. Let it be on your interior design, your vacation destination or what show you want to watch. When you are single, there is only one voice you have to listen to and that one is yours. Don’t take it for granted, because once you have a partner this will change and you will have to adapt.

You can explore yourself and what you like unapologetically. Your single life is there to find out what you are actually looking for in a partner. So don’t take dating too seriously. It should be fun, you can let loose and try around as much as you want – no regrets. Don’t try to force anything, don’t overthink. Dating should be fun, casual sex should be fun. Play around. Explore yourself. Be unapologetic with it. Make memories. Some of my best (and most fun) memories are from single times, no doubt.

Don’t get me wrong – I am in a relationship and I couldn’t be happier. But I would be just as happy as a single, that happiness is just defined by different parameters.

Make sure you don’t need anyone to feel complete.

And, sorry to bring this old cliché up, but in order to be in a functioning relationship you have to be able to be alone and happy in being so. You are fulfilling yourself and your life, not someone else. If you hop from relationship to relationship without ever being on your own, you need to check in with yourself and reevaluate your choices. Your happiness should never depend on another person, they should be the icing on the cake – but girl, you have to bake that cake yourself.

 
 

by Jana